Fade to Black
by Toys N the Attic
Summary: Four years since Tsukasa has logged off The World and guess who misses him the most?
1. Undying

_Disclaimer:_ I do not own .hack and all that jazz.  
  
**Toys N the Attic:** Woo.. x.x Been awhile since I have written a fan fiction and the first one on FF I plan on actually finishing! This chapter is kind of short.. but I dunno how long the next one will be. I had to get a cut off point. Bleh. So enjoy the first chapter..?  
  
**Fade to Black  
Chapter 1  
**_"You can not kill me for my passion is undying."  
_  
Four years since Tsukasa logged out of the world.. and everything seemed to be back to normal. Bear had become her best friend over the years and even more so over her offline friends. And BT had gone her separate ways, messaging them every now and then. The Scarlet knights had united once again, now that Subaru had a new silver knight...Kurim.  
  
But he never came back.. The only person she had truly cared about in this stupid video game. Or she.. Why did she always still think of Tsukasa as that annoying, arrogant boy she once knew? Her viewpoints never changed...That is just what happens when you have never seen the other side of the reflection. She had never seen him in real life. She had always tried, but she didn't know his real name. She didn't know where he had gone, but just to forget about him. It all seemed so stained in the back of her memory.  
  
As always she was cheerful, slightly self centered, strong-willed and friendly, but that was just the way she tried to preserve her memory of him. Just like it always was the only thing was.. but she would never stop shaking..and it had gotten worse since he left and only she knew why.  
  
Today Mac Anu was just like any other. Over the four years the only thing that seemed to change was the graphics, if it ever seemed possible. It was more real.. and even though the headsets never let you feel real pain, every single hit you took in a battle seemed to affect you more..Perhaps only mentally.  
  
She sat on the bridges rail looking forward at Bear whom seemed to be looking at Subaru, Kurim and the other Crimson Knights who were huddled in a group outside the entrance of the castle. They seemed to be in deep discussion and it was only polite not to interrupt them.. They had just come to visit Subaru anyway.. and for some reason She never liked coming here. She never liked to see Subaru and had no idea why... Bear had looked back towards her and smiled his 'old-man' smile he always did.  
  
"...Something wrong, Mimiru?" Bear looked at her with concern..  
  
Her gaze had fallen down towards the wooden floor of the bridge. She looked up and smiled slightly back at him, the always-cheerful smile that always fooled everyone..always. "No, why do you ask?"  
  
Bear watched her carefully, "I dunno.. You just seem tired, or bored, or.. something around there...are you cold?"  
  
She shook her head and leaned back slightly, moving her hands from her sitting knees to beside her on the rail, now being in a less slumped fashion.. Her eyes seemed to put on the fake smile as well. "Just a slow day..yeah..our heat went out a week ago."  
  
The male heavyblade in front of her nodded. "Yeah.. Ok.. get some blankets then? " He crossed his arms, looking at her then looked up at the sky.  
  
She remained to sit on the railing, now feeling slightly worse, but her expression stayed the same. Her eyes fell back down to the clean painted wood floor of the bridge.  
  
Bear looked back at Her slowly. He couldn't really see her too well, for the sun was behind her and shadows creeped across the edges of her face and her eyes being shaded as well. He felt so dark around her, but wasn't so sure why.. She was happy. Always happy and optimistic..nothing ever changed.  
  
Her voice was the same, as she spoke, just not as cheerful. As it was night in her time...or both their times, "Have you seen Tsukasa offline..?" She rose her head slightly, light appearing on side of her face and darkness lost on the other side.  
  
Bear shook his head, looking to his side. "No, I havn't..I wonder if she is doing okay, but I am sure she is."  
  
_He.._  
  
"You say that everytime I ask you." She smiled slightly..  
  
Bear's gaze went back to her, "You ask me that at least once a week, but I am sure she is. She declined being adopted.. She must have somewhere better to go."  
  
_He...._  
  
She nodded and looked up at the multi colored paints of a twilight sky looking in a wistful manner. "Yeah.."  
  
"This morning I looked at the message boards," He decided to point out, changing the subject, "They are updating again."  
  
The heavyblade looked at him, from what could be seen of her face her eyes looked interested. "Really? Graphics? I mean.. I doubt they could get any more realisti-"  
  
"Not visually."  
  
"What do you mean?" She blinked slowly..  
  
"I am not so clear on it, but.." He seemed to close his eyes in thought, ".. I think they are changing the fighting system.. or HP or something.." Bear opened his eyes to look at her. "I think they are going to make the taking of HP more real."  
  
She still didn't seem to understand, but she didn't bother to make herself look more interested, "Like.. pain?"  
  
"I suppose so.. within the next week or so. They said players aren't likely to notice the updates, which I find strange..and new changes as well.."  
  
She closed her eyes slowly... "I wonder if we should be looking forward to them.."  
  
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
_"What do you mean you are not going?!" a loud booming voice came behind..  
  
The emerald gaze of a girl turned and looked at the woman, having to turn the desk chair around slowly. Their faces almost identical, but the older woman's hair much longer and streaks of gray resonated beneath. The girl just looked up, about the age of 19, her eyes emotionless and distant and a headset rested in her hands.  
  
"Well, are you going to answer me?" The woman demanded violently and getting no answer. "It is this game isn't it?! To much time online instead of working on your studies..You have a scholarship!! "The woman knocked the headset out of the girl's hands with a slight wince as the headset dropped to the hard ground with a loud cracking noise.  
  
The girl looked down at it with sadness in her eyes..  
  
"Is it that much to you?! You are being obsessive, honey.." The mother's voice dropped into sadness. "Why do you continue to dwell?"  
  
The girl reached down and picked up the headset slowly.. "Mother!" She glared at her angrily. "You have no idea-"  
  
"Don't you dare try to talk yourself out of this! You are going to go to college whether you like it or not. Why are you quitting? Why.. WHY!?" The woman seemed to be put into hysterics..  
  
The girl just watched her maternal Unit.. With no sympathy.. She didn't understand why she cared so much or why she ever had to leave the room, why to ever eat or sleep or talk with the outside world. She had all she ever needed right on her desk and even t hat didn't make her life any easier.. She stood up finally, resting the head set down. "Mother, you don't know what it's like! You don't know how much this means to me.. to still be alive somewhere els-!"  
  
A pain went across her face as her head whipped to her right, a red hand mark on her cheek. Her eyes fell down as she shook slightly, touching her hand to her cheek.  
  
Her mother's eyes were filled with tears as if ashamed. "I am sorry, Mimiru, but you can't live like this.."  
  
_xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx  
  
Three rings rose from the ground as certain head knight walked onto a wasteland of giant skeletons..The largest one being only 10 yards away and at the base sat Her, legs pulled up to her chest and her arms wrapped around them, her chin resting upon them and looking out emptily, shaking slightly. Just something at the pit of her stomach seemed to have gotten wider..Nothing good, but something empty.  
  
"Mimiru..?" Subaru walked towards her and knelt down on one knee, her axe resting on the ground flat under her palm. "Are you okay?" her voice was full of concern as She had taken as always being false.  
  
She finally looked up, as if just realizing she was there. "Hey, Subaru, glad you came." She smiled. God how fake Subaru was.. How could she always act so well, acting as if she cared about everything and everyone and the well being of every person, when she herself was so self-centered. It was impossible to act so well and She had envied her for it.  
  
Subaru's 'fake' concern finally vanished when she saw the smile. "I got your message..So what did you need me for?" She sat down next to her, leaning on the bones behind her. She smiled at Her.  
  
She looked back out again, her eyes didn't give off that spark really anymore, but her face still remained happy. Subaru of course never caught, no one ever did. Perhaps the preservation was going better then she thought. "I wanted to ask if you have talked to Tsukasa lately."  
  
"Well..yeah." She nodded and followed Her gaze out to the wasteland field. "She called the other day and asked if we could go to a movie."  
  
_He..!_  
  
"Really.. How did it go?" Her expression never changed as she remained to look out. How She hoped it had gone badly and Tsukasa left early in the movie..  
  
"She was in a good mood and I was, too. It all went pretty well."  
  
She winced at the sound of 'She' a second time.  
  
_He!!  
_  
"Can I ask you, Subaru.. what is his real name?" She rested her head on her knuckles.  
  
"I don't know if I can tell you what _her_ name is. I would have to ask her. I don't know if she would want me to tell you." Her voice seemed snobbish in she thought or maybe imagined. Or did she imagine the emphasis on _'Her'_. She cursed in her head as anger built up like a rocket.  
  
**_HE!!!!_**  
  
The blade master looked at her directly, her eyes full of deep disgust. "Of COURSE HE WOULD! I was his friend, too, remember!? I haven't even seen him since he **LEFT**!" She growled dangerously.  
  
Subaru looked taken back by the sudden attack, her eyes widened slightly. "Mimiru, calm down.." She sighed. "Tsukasa is a girl.. Remember??"  
  
"No I **DON'T **REMEMBER!" He position shifted to sitting up, her hand as if she was going to grab the heavyblade, the other flat on the ground.  
  
_ Just slice her lips off! Just cut it out! She would be gone and no more good times with him **anymore**!_   
  
"I have never even met '_HER_'! I have never even seen '_HER_'!"  
  
Subaru looked at her, backing away slightly. "Mimiru...please.." This was real fear now..  
  
She looked at her and realizing her temper rising and began to calm down.. The memory not preserved. "I...I'm sorry." She looked down, her hand that was reaching for the heavyblade fell to the ground. She had always hated Subaru, but Subaru was the only one closest to Tsukasa.. The _only_ one. "Please ask h-er her for me." Her voice seemed sad and ashamed. "Please?" how could she of gone off like that? It was was never her. Never her.. optimistic.. happy..sad...disgusted.  
  
Subaru sighed in silent relief, as her artificial voice returned. "I will.. okay? I will. I promise."  
  
She looked up from the ground; the sadness gone and a new enthusiasm took its place. "Thank you." Was it real? Was Subaru acting or just being kind..fake? But she may be able to see him again...know his real name, had it really been that long.  
  
**Mimiru** smiled to herself.  
  
_Tsukasa.....I will see you again._


	2. First Kill

Disclaimer: Ha ha.. x.x yeah. I don't own this...  
  
**Toys N the Attic:** Thanks for the reviews! Sorry for the delay in the chapter.. been on vacation.. well, Onward.  
  
**Fade to Black  
Chapter 2  
  
**Long lost words whisper slowly to me  
Still can't find what keeps me here  
When all this time I've been so hollow inside  
I know you're still there  
  
Watching me, wanting me  
I can feel you pull me down  
Fearing you loving you  
I won't let you pull me down  
  
Hunting you I can smell you - alive  
Your heart pounding in my head  
  
Watching me, wanting me  
I won't let you pull me down  
Saving me, raping me, watching me  
  
Watching me, wanting me  
I can let you pull me down  
Fearing you... loving you  
I won't let you pull me down  
_-Evanesence HAUNTED_  
  
Millions of Zeros and Ones floated up and in a green cyber glow and faded in the sky as two rings folded over themselves and disappeared, revealing a white treasure chest. It glowed in the darkness of the dungeon. The faint light leaving absent shadows along with so many more torches that hung on the walls.  
  
Mimiru looked down at it with amusement as the EXP points on the side of her screen grew. Now on level 161. This monster was nothing compared to fighting the guardian so long ago..but she had been at level 62. Not many people were stronger then her anymore, but she doubted anyone else was as diligent at her at living in this game. In some ways she had envied Tsukasa, at least now she did. If she could forever live in this game she would be happy..but now a new confidence rose in her and overtook her depression. She wanted to see him. To touch him. To speak with him! Her life seemed to be grasped by his hands alone..his name is all she needed and no doubt she would see him by next week and maybe sooner. The thought hovered in her mind happily as she actually smiled. But to go to the real world..? Yes.  
  
Mimiru finally kicked the chest open and reached into the glowing light to hear a _'squeek!_' as something hopped out of it before she could grab it. Wide eyes looked up at her, shining lovingly and it took Mimiru a moment before she realized her prize.  
  
"A Grunty..?" She bent down on her knees and looked down at it..  
  
It hopped an inch or so off the ground and landed in the same place. "_Squeek! Squeek!_" Every Squeak it made, it hopped up once.  
  
Mimiru raised an eyebrow and examined it. It's fur was white and it's eyes were maroon..  
  
They both blinked at the same time as they stared at each other.  
  
She personally hated grunties. Hated them with an honest passion. They were always so happy and cheerful all the time. Like fucking idiots. The AI sucked for one thing.. and she wondered if they could get anymore dysfunctional.. She stood up fully and headed out of the stone dungeon..that echoed loudly with the annoying sounds of the grunty.. She turned around and walked, silently herself, and her feet clicking loudly on the wet stone floor.   
  
"_Squeek! Squeek!_" She could hear it hopping closer to her.. The light source of the torches reflected their shadows so she could tell it was following her from not just the sound. The shadow of the heavy blade and the grunty hopping inch by inch and squeek by agonizing squeek behind her.   
  
_Stay Calm.._  
  
She kept walking, hopefully it would leave her alone if she gated out, but she needed to get out of the dungeon in order to do that... Mimiru walked down the steps still hearing the Grunty behind her. "...."   
  
_Squeek. Squeek. Squeek. Squeek...  
_  
She felt anger build as the sound filled her ears.. as if haunting her.. _Squeek!_ Walking to the first floor underground, seeing the round room entrance she had entered earlier to her left.._squeek!_ ..and walking passed it... _Squeek!_ The blue flame indicating the way out wasn't too far from the wasteland fie-_Squeek!_ The steps that led up to a light only down the narrow hallwa-_SQUEEK!   
_  
She turned, raising her blade above her head, anger resonating in her eyes as grunty seemed to realize what would wrought upon him. "YOU!!!" It ahd interrupted her thought for the last time!  
  
"_SQUEEK!"_ It jumped in fear and cowered back a few hops away. Tears grew in its eyes and rolled down its furry face, realizing its demise.  
  
Mimiru blinked a few times as it cried.. and she sighed.. lowering her blade and it the tip hit the floor with a low toned 'Clang'. "Ug.." She resheathed the heavy blade onto her back and turned, walking down the hall..and slowly reaching the staircase. _Squeek!_  
  
As her foot descended on the stone of the bottom step she looked back, seeing the grunty happily follow her again..Bipolar she guessed. "..."  
  
It hopped up, jumping for joy that she made any heed to the it.  
  
She lowered her foot back down to the ground floor, turned and bent down on one knee, looking at it blankly. Nothing would break her sliver of happiness, not today so she would compromise. Mimiru raised her hand and touched it lightly on the head, the thought of crushing its skull in her hands drifted across her mind and she sighed as instead it was light and gentle. Its grunty noise yet again, hopping into the tips of her fingers. It was pretty cute in a creepy sort of way.  
  
xxxxxx  
  
_The screen blanked out as the back plug was pulled.  
  
"No.." The girl quickly pulled off her headset and her face remained washed out of emotion as she watched the man, then her eyes narrowed slightly. "This is my equipment, you can't do this."  
  
"If you keep acting up you are going to get hit." He raised his hand, but she sat firmly, holding onto the headset. He growled loudly and swung his large muscular hand.   
  
Bam.  
  
She hit hard against the floor with a loud crack as the headset had broken yet again, under her weight.  
  
"You are going to listen to your mother! You can not play this game.." He said malevolently.  
  
She lifted her body, clutching onto the headset and her forehead pressed against the carpet, hair falling over her face as tears ran down her cheeks silently, "I can't.."  
  
The older man grunted angrily and threw the monitor to the floor with a loud crash, the bottom breaking off. "You are! What happened to those grades you had! All that work you went through. How hard you tried!"  
  
The role chair still spun absently and then slowed to a stop.  
  
"I can't.." She repeated. "That is what you wanted isn't it? I got through high school.. I did.. I did.." She sat up some, looking down, her eyes in shadow, but the tears still could be seen. "..I did."  
  
"You will continue." He said as he threw the keyboard to the ground and pulled her up by the hair of her scalp. She shakily stood up and was faced with the gaze of her father, looking her straight in the eye. "You will."  
  
_xxxxxx  
  
BT watched in amusement as Kurim swung his blade in circles before him, swinging his blade randomly down, an inch from the cracked, dry earth and swing it up, letting it go from the tips of his fingers, then skillfully catching it with the other hand and and swinging out in a half circle out before him. "Does that really help you..?"  
  
He stopped and looked back at her, grinning. "In fact it does."  
  
She stood up fully from her sitting position on a dry mammoth trunk that extended from a giant skull. "I can't believe you still come online. You really must have some free time on your hands."  
  
He spun and kicked out with his left foot and held it out steadily in place. "Well, business has been going pretty well..having my business trips every now and then." Kurim put his foot down. "But I have my lab top with me at all times." He dug the end of his staff into the earth and turned back to her. "It seems you have been busy though, but with what?" He raised an eyebrow.  
  
BT watched him with a blank, unemotional look as she had always had. "Long-term relationship."  
  
His grin had slacked, but the happiness in his voice didn't seem to waver. "Really and how had that been going?"  
  
BT looked out in a semi-wistful manner the crack earth before her and a random giant mammoth skull placed in the distance and the sun beaming on them. "Well, I think this may be 'the one' everyone seems to talk about."  
  
He continued to watch her and then nodded. "Then I am happy for you."  
  
"What about you?" She looked at him with a raised eyebrow and then smiled slightly. "Has Mr. Business man seeing anyone?"  
  
He grinned sheepishly then shook his head. "Well..no, haven't been looking really."  
  
"I am sure you will find someone..how old are you now?"  
  
"Uh.. well.." He looked down, rubbing the back of his neck.  
  
BR found amusement in this and made a guess. "27?"  
  
He looked up in amazement. "Well..yeah."  
  
She smiled. "Nothing to be ashamed about..you are pretty young for a business man. Who do you work for again?"  
  
Kurim watched he blankly. "Aren't we getting too personal? Doesn't matter, really. I know nothing about you and you seem to know a lot about me." He then pulled a grin.  
  
She crossed her arms, still an eyebrow raised. "You're right, doesn't matter." BT's gaze panned back out. "Talked to anyone other then me lately?"  
  
He then walked over to the mammoth skull and leaned back on it closing his eyes. "Yes, actually, I talked to Subaru last night at the castle. Interesting subject."  
  
BT continued to look out. "Mimiru?"  
  
He opened one eye and looked at her. "How did you know?"  
  
"I have been speaking with Sora lately." She turned and walked back giant skull, leaning on the other side of the skull and just looking out. "So what is going on with her exactly? Sora tends to be vague on the subject. I don't think he really knows himself."  
  
"Well.." He stuck his staff back into the dirt so it wouldn't fall over while it leaned against the skull. "She has been acting strange, according to Subaru, quick tempered, very curious about Tsukasa in real life. I think she really misses her."  
  
"An obsession..?" She looked back at him.  
  
He didn't turn around to meet her, but just kept his eyes closed. "Well.. I don't remember her mentioning Tsukasa after she left really, so I doubt it."  
  
"You need to keep an eye on it.."  
  
"Me?" Kurim finally looked at her.   
  
"You are a Silver Knight, after all." She pulled herself up, now sitting on the skull.  
  
"Yeah.. I suppose, but why not Sora? Don't they have a relationship?"  
  
BT couldn't help but laugh. "If you want to call it that."  
  
He faced her, the skull raised up to his chest and he rested his crossed arms upon it, watching her. "What is that supposed to mean?"  
  
"I haven't seen Mimiru in a few months, but from Sora I can tell she doesn't have an interist in him.."  
  
"Hm.. Mimiru is a smart woman..she knows who she likes."  
  
"Yeah..a little lost."   
  
He watched her with a raised eyebrow now. "I suppose I will see for myself.."  
  
xxxxxx  
  
_The girl opened her window slowly and silently, the cracked headset clutched in her hands as she stepped out into the nothingness of dark.  
  
_xxxxxx  
  
He waited impatiently for her to arrive. She was late..always late and it angered him greatly, as if she didn't whether or not it mattered! He tapped her foot absently until he heard the sound of someone logging in was heard next to him. He turned as the Three Rings appeared and a figure faded into view. "Mimiru why are you late?" He asked..in an angry tone..  
  
She stood, immobile from the spot she had logged in. "I.. am sorry." She said in an emotionless tone.  
  
He then slowly grinned, as if forgiving her. "You can make it up for me, right?" He said in a sing-song voice as he appeared behind her. His speed was unmatched.. He roamed his hands up the sides of her small waist..and kissed her lightly under the ear. "..hm..?"  
  
She stood completely still as if nothing had happened. "..yeah."  
  
"Why don't you respond then..?" He smoothed one hand over her navel.  
  
"Is that.. what you want?" She said, without looking back at him...still immobile.  
  
"Yes, now."   
  
He eyes seemed to of saddened some. "All right.." She reached back and touched his head lightly he kissed her lightly on the neck.. Mimiru stretched his neck lightly, but not much. Her face remained still, not as if she was enjoying or hated Sora's touched. The thought then crossed her mind of Tsukasa..she would see him soon, so soon..  
  
He then appeared in front of her.. kissing the base of her throat..  
  
_Maybe we could go to the movies like Subaru always did..or maybe out for a burger..or maybe.._  
  
He ran his land up her leg..  
  
_I wanted to show you my favorite place in the central park.. I know you would like it.._  
  
She was up against the wall of the tower of color symbols, relaying on it for some support before he kissed her lips.  
  
_Would you want to go bike riding..? I know I don't have a bike, but I could burrow one from someon-_  
  
"MIMIRU!"   
  
Her thoughts halted as she came back to reality.. "..?"  
  
"You aren't responding.. You never respond..you never!" he growled and looked as if he was going to cry.. Always happy Sora, going to..cry?  
  
Sympathy washed over her as she watched him.. "Sora.."  
  
A blade shot out of his wrist weapon and he pushed it up to her tan neck..and black tattoo around her neck.. "Why?? Do you not love me..?"  
  
"Of.. course I do!" She didn't look scared, but she looked sympathetic.  
  
"You LIE!" he raised his blade up and slashed it across her cheek, forcing her to turn her head..   
  
"Sora..please.. don't do that.." She felt the pain..the pain....  
Her Pain.  
  
"Why! I always try to get your attention, but you are always in a different world. Who are you thinking about!?" He flipped his blade and slashed across her perfect stomach, forcing her to crouch in pain and forced her gaze down.   
  
"Sora..please."  
  
"Who is it?!"  
  
"Sor-"  
  
"TELL ME!" He raised it up and slashed her across the leg, causing her to fall..  
  
"No.. one.."  
  
"Stop lying!" He slashed her again.. her HP dropping..  
  
Mimiru then closed her eyes as she crouched over herself in pain.. crying now.. "No one.. Sora, Please.. I am..telling the truth." Why did this seem like it was repeating herself, she was always messing up somewhere and now.. the pain was real, but how..?  
  
He stood there towering over her, watching her.. still angry.  
"Mimiru.."  
  
She looked up at him, her eyes the same, no pain in them at all. "Sora.. please. Why would I lie?"  
  
He watched her still, growing silent, calm. He then crouched down and touched her shoulders and this time she flinched as if afraid he was going to hurt her, but he didn't notice. "I am..sorry.." He looked to be silently crying now and he wrapped his arms around her.  
  
She looked at him, surprised and then wrapped her arms around him. "Sora.. I.." she trailed off.  
  
He looked up slightly. "What..?"  
  
"..would never leave anyone that truely cared.." Her gaze saddened..  
  
He pulled away from the hug and looked at her, then smiled, child-like. "You don't have to worry.."  
  
She watched him and his smile then smiled herself, but a cryptic smile.. or perhaps sad. "Then you don't either.."  
xxxxxx  
  
Subaru looked over the faint mist that hung ominously across the water. Broken buildings and sculpture peices stuck out of the water across, as far as the eye could see and the sky was a dark gray. She stood on the top roof of a sunkin building, the largest peice in the field where one had to enter.. She looked emotionless. Not happy, nor sad, but washed from emotion, but secretly, mentally somewhat happy..  
  
Mimiru appeared across the roof in a vision of three rings, smiling at Subaru, expecting, excited. All of the above was stirring inside her. "Hey." She looked at Subaru with a bright face and then looked out at the gloomy atmosphere. "Good place.." SHe said somehwat sarcastically.  
  
Subaru continued to look out for a moment then looked at her and said in her shy, yet not shy, voice. "The key words were the easiest to remember, so it would be fast."  
  
"Makes sense.." She said and nodded, following Subaru's gaze out then back at her. "It didn't take long for you to get in contact with Tsukasa." She smiled.. Jealousy was no longer there..she would soon see him just as much as Subaru did anyways.  
  
Subaru looked down at the water below. "Well, I talked to her on the phone last night, so it was a quick reply."  
_  
Why is she looking down?  
  
_She still smiled. "So.. what did he say?"  
  
Subaru's grip on her staff tall axe remained. "She said.." She slowly looked up, meeting Mimiru's bright gaze. "...no."  
  
Mimiru watched her, still smiling and a moment or so before she spoke. "What do you mean... no?" She spoke through her teeth.  
  
"It means.. she doesn't want me to give you her name." Subaru watched her still, sympathy overwealmed her. "I am sorry, Mimiru.."  
  
Mimiru's smile slowly faded and she closed her eyes.. shaking slightly. "No.. you are lying.." Just like a broken record. It all happened again and again.. how was this deja-vu? "Why.. are you lying?!" She looked up angrily.  
  
Subaru took a step back.. "Mimiru, please.. It was her privacy.."  
  
"Tsukasa would NEVER hide anything from me!!!" She shouted, her yells echoing out. "Never.." she sunk down to the ground slowly, her armor hitting the floor. SHe leaned on her palms placed on the floor..trying to breath..  
  
"Mimiru..I am sorry, I can't do anything." She watched her sadly. "I hope.. I could help more in the future.." she turned to leave...  
  
"No.." Mimiru looked up from the floor, glaring immensly. "You wanted this.. You don't want me to talk to him.."   
  
Subaru seized..standing still, but still looking across the mists, out. "....Mimi-"  
  
"Mimiru this!" She pulled herself up slowly. "Mimiru THAT!" She growled. "You can't sweet talk your way out of this..Subaru!! I know you are lying.." Her voice trailed. Anger resonated from her.   
  
"Mimiru.. I am sorry... That is what she told me..I am inclined to keep her privacy if that is what she wants.."  
  
Mimiru watched her..slowly reaching up slowly.. "He wouldn't.."  
  
Subaru began to turn.. "Mimiru, sh-"   
  
Subaru's eyes froze as did her pale body.. a look of horror embossed on her shell. Her figure turned gray as a million zeros and ones floated up from Mimiru's blade sticking into her heart, halfway and coming out the other side of Subaru's back.  
  
Mimiru's lips curled in a comical fashion as she pulled the blade slowly out and Subaru disapeared in a flurry of glowing numbers..  
  
She watched her fade..and the grin disapeared, reality dawning on her in horror. "Su.." she slowly dropped her heavy blade, "...baru.." the blade splashed into the water..her finger tips still reaching out absently to where they had dropped. Her face was struck in horror as tears slowly ran down her face.. but _had she spoke the truth..?  
  
_


	3. Fade

Disclaimer: Yet again, I don't own this.  
  
**Toys N the Attic:** Blehness. Excuse my typos and I apologize for it being so short. x.x  
  
**Fade to Black  
Chapter 3  
  
**_How the hell did we wind up like this?  
Why weren't we able, to see the signs that we missed  
And try turn the tables  
  
I wish you'd unclench your fists, and unpack your suitcase  
Lately there's been too much of this  
But don't think it's too late  
  
Nothing's wrong, just as long as  
You know that someday I will  
  
Someday, somehow  
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow  
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
  
Well I'd hope that since we're here anyway  
That we could end up saying  
Things we've always needed to say  
So we could end up staying  
Now the story's played out like this  
Just like a paperback novel  
Let's rewrite an ending that fits  
Instead of a Hollywood horror  
  
Nothing's wrong, just as long as  
You know that someday I will  
  
Someday, somehow  
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
Someday, somehow  
I'm gonna make it all right but not right now  
I know you're wondering when  
(You're the only one who knows that)  
-Nickelback SOMEDAY_**  
**  
The sound of hard metal against stone echoed in the semi peaceful city of Mac Anu.  
Mimiru's emerald eyes gazed foreward.. Why had she come back here? How could she be such an idiot? To apologize? no. Then what for? She pressed her back up against a nearby building, catching her breath. Hidden in shadow she looked up at the twilight sky. The sky.. Even if this was all just a big mistake, even if this place wasn't real, she couldn't leave this place..  
  
_I vowed to never leave this hopeless world. Never to remove the head set and remember what breathing was, with real air in my lungs and feel the heat of the sun ever again._  
  
Mimiru's emerald gaze fell to the ground.. They were after her now. She was just like Sora.  
  
No.. she was worse.  
  
The memory came back to her like a crushing blow to the head. How she remembered Subaru.. Her eyes still gazing absently at her and seeing her own reflection in the sapphire orbs; her face frozen in mid-word until it all faded away.  
  
_fade away.._  
  
She could hear them searching just down the street on the bridge she had only previously spoke with Bear on. It was not more then a week before.. how could this all happen in an instant like that? Despite this horror, she did not feel scared. Why was she running then? Because that was all she knew how to do..  
  
Mimiru turned her neck slightly, looking back over the corner at the bridge down the stone road. They were coming this way.. and the chaos gate was across the bridge.. They were all just fools, she thought, they all trying to search for a peace that could never of existed in the first place. Did they believe there really was a justice in a world that wasn't real? There wasn't justice anywhere--ever.  
  
A line of white reflected on Mimiru's blade as drew it from the sheath on her back silently. The mirror surface reflecting the crimson-orange twilight above her. They would never imprison her. Mimiru heavy blade would just be another bitter pill to swallow to the scarlet knights that sought the imaginary justice. It was just a game after all.  
  
Her back foot pushed off the cold stone ground behind her and darted around the corner of the building, into the light of the setting sun, her blade out to her right side, held by the hilt with both hands. Her face was left unchanged.. no eagerness to kill nor fear of being captured. Dust picked up when she hurled herself up in the air, above the heads of the Scarlet Knights and on the other side of the river, almost home bound to the chaos gate. She heard orders being shouted out behind her, and kept going.. only a few yards..  
  
"Mimiru, _stop_..!" called a voice behind her.. that of a friend.  
  
As she ran, she glanced back behind her.. Kurim..? His face watched her sadly as he landed not too far behind her, obviously mimicking her leap for escape. His spear out to his side and running after her..  
  
_He was just like them._  
  
Mimiru shot him a glare, before jumping up the steps of the platform, mouthing three keywords and disappearing in the chaos gate. It all seemed so counted out as if time had slowed down.  
  
Kurim stopped at the bottom of the steps, looking up at the spinning chaos gate and sighing to himself. The other Scarlet Knights joined him at the base of the small steps of stairs, seeming to wait his instructions. He shook his head. "We will wait for her.."  
  
xxxxxx  
  
_"Mimiru, get off! Come on.. you can't just sit her all day!" An older blonde woman nudged the girl with a head set over her eyes. "Mimiru!!"  
  
There was no response from the girl with the cracked headset, she did not even move.. nothing at all.  
  
The older blonde woman seemed angry as she tore the head set off the brunette's head. The girl only hung her head and her eyes were closed, as if she were dead.. her skin pale and cold, but her pulse was still felt at the touch.  
  
The older blonde woman watched the girl, with a hand over her mouth.. before touching her fingers to the phone.  
  
"Tsukasa.." escaped in a faint whisper passed the girl with cracked headset's lips.  
  
_xxxxxx  
  
She looked up through the mosaic glass of the circular window, at the full moon and the only light source in the church. Her eyes reflecting the soon-to-be tears that began to form. She brushed her cerulean hair behind her ear and sighed. Subaru's grip on her heavy axe tightened. She was killed. Why would anyone do it to her? _Her: Subaru_. She tried to hold up to law and make everyone happy. That is all it was. Why did Mimiru lose her temper like that? That wasn't Mimiru at all..  
  
Subaru turned, looking over the ghostly pews of the church field. It was silent.. and not even the wind was heard in the virtual reality. She felt sick.. perhaps it was guilt that ate at her. Subaru wondered why it would be that? She hadn't done anything at all, but do as she was told. Tsukasa told her not to reveal any information to anyone.. and she knew why, but couldn't tell Mimiru or anyone else for that matter. Mimiru was more attached then she had thought.  
  
Kurim wasn't even searching for her. Did he care? Mimiru was dangerous to everyone around her and even possibly herself.. Subaru sat in the second row and rested her forehead on the back of the pew before her. Light reflected off the small bead salt water bead that streamed down a cheek. She did not love Tsukasa.. Why did Mimiru think she did? Tsukasa was her best friend in the whole world.. Sure, she thought she had feelings, but they were all just of friendship in the end. She wondered how Tsukasa thought of Mimiru. Subaru never really spoke about Mimiru to her. Mimiru was too distant to really have much to talk about anyways. Tsukasa always just enjoyed the fact of being in the real world and even told Subaru she would never go back and Subaru couldn't blame her.  
  
Mimiru had changed for the worse. It only made her wonder even more, but why was it any of her business? Kurim didn't meddle, but he did care... Subaru lifted her head, looking forward at the moon beam streaming through the dusty light, the tears drying and anger seemed to build. Mimiru could not do this to her.. What would she do to Tsukasa when she met her? She would die from a heart attack.. Tsukasa was a female, a girl and a fragile girl at that. Subaru swore to herself she would stand strong and not let Mimiru shatter everything around her. Subaru pulled herself up from the pew and turned to the exit of the church. If Mimiru had any means to break something she would be broken herself.  
  
xxxxxx  
  
Bear looked up at the clouds of the blue sky above. It was quite in this floating isle field. The wind swooped over the lush grass lazily and swayed Bear's clothes as he leaned against the odd symbolic structure. Colorful, wind sock-like, paper cut outs flopped in the wind as they hung from stone polls.. His peace was interrupted when the sound of an instant message popped up in his inbox. Bear concentrated on it for a moment, before realizing Kurim was going to be there in a few moments.  
  
He looked up as the sound of someone entering flowed through the field in a vision of floating gold rings. The long arm looked at him with an emotionless expression and all Bear did was smile at him. "You wanted to talk to me?"  
  
The blue-haired spears man nodded, walking towards him slowly. "I seek an answer to a long sought question I have." He stopped in front of him, sticking the end of his spear harder into the ground, as if clarifying where he stood.  
  
Bear raised an eyebrow, his arms still crossed. "I will try to answer it the best I can.."  
  
"Do you believe.. that what happened to Tsukasa could happen again?" he asked, his face still firm.  
  
Bear look taken back by the question and then shook his head. "I don't believe it could. Why do you ask?"  
  
Kurim closed his eyes and put his finger to his chin in thought then lowering it and opening his eyes. "I believe it could happen if one wanted it enough.."  
  
Bear, put his muscular arms to his sides. "Why are you saying this? Is that why you have contacted me?"  
  
Kurim sighed and nodded. "I have been talking to some closer er..people to Mimiru lately and I believe it has happened to her.."  
  
Bear shook his head and chuckled. "Mimiru does not wish to remain in The World like Tsukasa was.."  
  
"I am worried about her, Bear." Kurim sighed and looked out. "She has become a Player Killer."  
  
"What???" Bear blinked, as if not absorbing what Kurim had just obviously stated.  
  
Kurim looked back at him. "She PKed Subaru the day before yesturday, Bear.. she is wanted by the scarlet knights."  
  
Bear's eyes saddened some and he looked down. "Should of seen this coming.  
  
"Hn..?" Kurim blinked, his spear head lowering to the ground now.  
  
Bear looked back at him. "Nevermind.. but we need to find Mimiru.. How is Subaru?"  
  
"She is all right, but shaken.."  
  
Bear sighed. "I will message you in the future then.."  
  
Kurim watched him. "All right.. I will tell you about any actions the knights are taking.. Perhaps she was under bad influence."  
  
"By who?" Bear blinked.  
  
"By Sora.." Kurim shook his head, closing his eyes.  
  
Bear looked back up. "If anyone knows Mimiru, it's me." He looked back at him. "She tends to act on impulse."  
  
"Then.. I guess we will see if her record improves." Kurim's eyes closed. "Don't message me, I will message you." He turned, gating out.  
  
Bear still watched after him. Wondering if the message really mattered.  
  
xxxxxx  
  
The grunty nuzzled Mimiru as she lay in the shade of a giant rock in a red desert field. Her face was buried in her arm as she lay on her side, spread on the ground and her eyes closed. Her face showed her wincing in pain. Oh how it hurt.. why did it hurt so much? A wound wrought itself around her stomach and another on her legs. It was deep, but it did not bleed. They always said that the wounds that didn't bleed always hurt like hell. It was a rated PG game, but this hurt worse.. She let it happen, it was her own fault. She could stand up to the Scarlet Knights, but not to Him.  
  
Mimiru opened her eyes slightly and looked at her grunty. She raised her arm she hadn't been laying on and rested it atop the grunty's head and scratched lightly. This creature did not fear her. It did not take over her. It did not haunt her. It was there and that was all it did. It wasn't even real.. She watched it with sad eyes, and looked out at the desert.. it was empty and yet warm, but then again it wasn't alive either. It was peaceful none-the-less and it seemed to welcome her. Perhaps she would see the desert in real life one day.. no. She would never see the real thing. It would be all right..this was better.  
  
She closed her eyes, feeling a wave of pain over her. Mimiru didn't recall it hurting this bad last she remembered. It felt as though this pain was really happening. Was it real?? Why did she have to wait for Bear? Did he know? Was he ignoring her email? She felt herself slipping out of consciousness and the occasional grunty noise that called her back. Her form loosened and she felt calm..no longer caring about Bear, Subaru, Sora.. Kurim or even Tsukasa and there wasn't anymore pain.. it was all black. That was all there was. It was just..  
_.. black_.


	4. Coming

Disclaimer: Bleh. I don't own .hack  
  
**Toys N the Attic:** All right.. One more chapter after this.. I kind of realized I didn't make Kurim sound as important as he really was. I am getting there. cough My goal is 15 reviews before next chapter! w00t  
  
Flash Back's are _blah blah _xX I am not going to mention them, but hopefully I won't confuse you. Only in this chapter they are italic.  
  
**Fade to Black  
Chapter 4  
  
**_You only see what your eyes want to see  
How can life be what you want it to be  
You're frozen  
When your heart's not open  
  
You're so consumed with how much you get  
You waste your time with hate and regret  
You're broken  
When your heart's not open  
  
Mmmmmm, if I could melt your heart  
Mmmmmm, we'd never be apart  
Mmmmmm, give yourself to me  
Mmmmmm, you hold the key  
  
Now there's no point in placing the blame  
And you should know I suffer the same  
If I lose you  
My heart will be broken  
  
Love is a bird, she needs to fly  
Let all the hurt inside of you die  
You're frozen  
When your heart's not open  
_-Frozen MADONNA**  
  
**She didn't go back to Him. It was fear that kept her from seeing Him anymore. He would come after her and hunt her down and punish her again, but running.. would keep him at bay? She couldn't rely on anyone anymore.. Bear knew and he was the only one she could count on anymore.. well, not anymore. Him being good friends with Kurim surely left her in the dark and would lead to her imprisonment.  
  
Everyone was looking for her... but why? Was her freedom that threatening to everyone? Subaru must have been angry with her enough to sick the justice squad after her...  
  
Mimiru looked down at the stone below her. Immobile and curled up in a ball. She had been there for the last 3 hours and didn't mind letting the sky sway over her. A shadow lay over her emerald gaze and the sun was setting behind her, leaving only an outline to be seen from the front. The sun never would set in this field.. She would never be found sitting on the top of a high tower like this.. Another identical tower was built over 300 feet in front of the other and connected by a bridge.. Not much of a fighting field..  
  
No one would find her, not even Kurim. Kurim was always there it seemed like. Everywhere she ran, no matter where she went he would corner her. A lecture is what she expected...but nothing. He always seemed to let her get away. His face still fresh in her mind from their first 'meeting' since Mac Anu... Him being there was more of a torture then being captured by Subaru herself. Why was she sought after?  
  
_"Mimiru?" his voice called back to her..She opened her eyes wearily and only slightly to the sight above her. Golden pools looked down at her, surprising her, but she didn't jump. It took her a moment before she realized who it was.  
  
"Kurim.."  
  
He continued to stand over her until he reached out his hand to help her up, but she only stared at it..  
  
"Mimiru.. I am not going to hurt you."  
  
She just watched it and then pulled up on her own..pain surging through her stomach area and ribs, but felt only from cramps.  
Mimiru breathed hard, facing down and her eyes grazing over his feet then back up..  
  
"Than why are you here..?" Her voice was raspy.  
  
Kurim just watched her as she supported her weight on the large boulder behind her, watching him, waiting for an answer.  
"To help."  
  
Mimiru blinked with surprise.. he was lying..  
  
"I know what your thinking," started Kurim as he stepped forward, "and it makes me wonder.."  
  
Mimiru blinked up at him as their face were only three inches apart, his look was serious.  
  
".. who hurt you..?"  
  
Her eyes widened slightly, surprised by his question. "No one," she growled, anger filling her and feeling the strength return.  
  
Kurim reached up and touched the scar on her rib with a light touch, causing her to flinch and back away from him, running the heel of her foot on the rock behind her. Afraid of touch.  
  
".. it is Sora..?" He looked from her scar back to her eyes.  
  
Mimiru looked away. "No.. Kurim.. just..."  
  
Kurim watched her, his eyes still firm.. She then glared at him. "Just leave me alone!" She shouted and pushing her way passed him, no sign of the pain anymore, but frustration. She disappeared in a series of three rings... _  
  
Oh how she remembered the look on Kurim's face as he stared after her.. since than she had ran into him countless times, not even a full sentence was spoken between them, he just watched her run away from him.  
  
Because that was all she knew how to do..  
  
She felt tears well up behind her eyes as she buried her face in her arms. How did he always know?  
  
xxxxx  
  
"Why won't you recall the search?" Kurim watched Subaru, anger hovering in front of his eyes.  
  
Subary looked up at him, holding her axe firmly to her side. "I don't understand why you would want me to." She said blankly, adjusting her grip.  
  
He raised his shoulders slightly. "It is a senseless hunt, Subaru!" He looked still calm, surpressing his anger with difficulty.  
  
Subaru's eyes widened slightly. "How dare you say that, Kurim.."  
  
"It is the truth, Subaru. It was an accident and you know it." Kurim, stood straighter.  
  
Subaru just watched him and shook his head. "She is a Player Killer.."  
  
"So what do you plan to do than?"  
  
"Bind her.." Subaru's gaze fell slightly.  
  
"You gave mercy to Tsukasa when she was captured for illegal action.."  
  
"This is different."  
  
"How?" Kurim's eyes turned into slits.  
  
Subaru could not make her self look at him and still didn't answer.  
  
Kurim watched her for a moment and then turned, he began to walk out, his shoes clicking against the marble of the castle floor.  
  
"Where are you going..?" Subaru's eyes followed him.  
  
"Anywhere else.." He said, not looking back, his figure but a mere shadow against the sunset shining through the doorway.  
  
"She has changed, Kurim." Subaru's voice grew deeper.  
  
He looked over his shoulder back at her, pure anger in front of his eyes, the gold matching that of his background. "She isn't the only one.." He looked back and was about to step out..  
  
"You can't stop them! You don't even know where she is!" Subaru shouted after him.  
  
"The Scarlet Knights arn't the only ones looking for her, you know.." was his last statement before he gated out.  
  
Subaru glared...anger causing her steady grip on her axe to shake slightly, her clutch turning her knuckles white at her sides.  
If he was going to change the rules, she swore would not drop out of the game.  
  
xxxxx  
  
Mimiru stood, looking forward at the cave-like tunnel of an underground dungeon. Glowing white orbs radiated a light shade of cerulean on the walls. Strange green and red symbols lead the way of the dungeon. It was silent, not even water was heard in the dry cave. It saddened her now that her grunty was gone, how foolish of her to leave it back in the desert where she dare not go back to..  
  
She walked slowly with sword in hand and taking each step cautiously in case she triggered a trap. Her steps echoing softly as she stepped into a large section of the cave, like a huge circular room, its cave structure shifted into beautiful tile made with multi colored stone. The floating orbs caused the stone to glitter and a Monster Portal spun absently in the center.  
  
Taking no before thought she ran at the portal, slashing down on it and activating the enemy code of zeros and ones. It appeared as a large horned monster, not more then level 80 or so. Mimiru pulled a smirk as she jumped up and lunged at it, slashing then dodging its attacks. With a final spin slash, it fell in a flurry of numbers and disappeared, showing the prize.. The heavy blade walked on, kicking open the chest to receive a small sack of money for her achievements. She resheathed her blade before reaching down and grabbing the sack. Happily she turned it upside down, each gold coin falling into her palm, slowly.. clink. clink. clink.  
  
"Oooh..." echoed a sing-song voice behind her and dropping the sack of coins with a loud clatter to the tile floor.  
  
She turned, wide eyed at Sora behind her, his hands on his hips, watching the coins fall to the ground..not waiting until the sound no longer echoed before he spoke.. Mimiru all ready backing away. "What are you doing now, hmm...?" He grinned widly.  
  
Mimiru felt herself shaking from fear, running her hand along the tile wall.. "W-what ar-are y-you do-oing here, S-sora?" He voice stuttered as she tried to smile innocently back at him.  
  
"Oh.." he began walking towards her, looking to his right in a casual way. "Just.." He looked forward and rested his hands on each side of Mimiru's head, flat on the wall, "Looking for you.." He grinned wider, the most evil grin.. she had ever seen from a person.. a kid for that matter.  
  
Mimiru still smiled at him. "R-really.. w-why i-is that..?" She couldn't stop shaking...  
  
"Why do I have to look for you, Mimiru??" He raised an eyebrow. "Hmm....?" A blade slide out of the top of his right wrist, touching the side of her neck..  
  
Mimiru gulped.. "J-just.. ju-ust..." Why didn't she gate out..? She couldn't.. in a dungeon...  
  
Log out, she thought over and over, contradicting herself over and over again.  
  
"Just..?" He pressed his blade up against her skin..  
  
Mimiru felt blood run down her neck.  
  
She was.....bleeding?  
  
For some.. she felt something build inside her as she forced her own emerald gaze to rest on Sora..her shaking slowly stop.  
  
"Just.. can I ask you a question..?"  
  
He blinked with amusement, "What is it?"  
  
"What is your level?.." Her eyes narrowed, lowering and darkening in hue.  
  
He laughed at the question. "133.. why..?"  
  
Mimiru slowly reached up and gripped the sharp blade in her hand, pushing it away, feeling her fingers bleed... feeling.. feeling that...  
It felt good..  
  
Mimiru grinned at him, running her finger tips a long the edge slowly and Sora's eyes widening.. "What are you...-"  
  
"Thank you for.." She interrupted as she stepped forward, bringing her hand up to his cheek. Her light touching grazing his jaw line.. him now frozen in surprise..not able to move. Splotches of bloody finger prints on his face.. ".. bringing the color back."  
  
Mimiru felt herself as though she was someone else, leaning forward and grazing her lips on his, bringing her other back hand and slipping the heavy blade from the sheath on her back. The light glittering on its mirror surface as she stabbed it forward into the center of his unarmed navel..  
  
His lips fell away from her's as his eyes widened in shock and froze in place as faded in a flurry of numbers, yelling out as he did so and being nothing more than an echo.  
  
She gazed forward, only watching until the last of the code disappeared and silence corrupted once more.  
  
"I've made it up to you.." she said out at nothing and then taking off, sheathing her blade on her back and making her way to the staircase. Mimiru needed to leave, now.  
  
It was done. She killed him. She did not have to run anymore.. he was gone. A curve fell over the edge of her lips, closing her eyes as she now felt free.. he was gone..  
He was gone..  
  
Mimiru opened her eyes slowly, in pure bliss until she felt something grab her from the front. She had almost fell, but was caught in embracing arms.. her self looking up at the one Scarlet Knight.  
  
"Kurim!!" Her eyes widened as she tried to pull away.  
  
He watched her, holding her tightly, not letting her run away again..  
  
"What are yo-"  
  
"They are coming." Said Kurim firmly, staring down at her, his eyes in panic.  
  
Mimiru stared up at him in confusion.  
  
"We have to get out."


	5. Author's Note

Hello everyone. x.x It has been awhile since i have updated, ne? Well, I am going to REWRITE it before we get to the last chapter. I actually have the story a lot better planned out now and this should make things more interesting. The story was sort of thrown together.. but I think I am a better writer now. I will be starting this weekend, so look for updates! Thanks everyone who Read and Reviewed! It is the only reason why I even bother. x.x

Toys in the Attic


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